Beautiful All Along

On graduation photo day, my boyfriend, Ethan Jones, takes more than 200 photos of Chloe Lloyd, the prettiest girl in our class. As president of the photography club, he knows better than anyone how to find the most flattering angles. Chloe stands beneath a tree and smiles at him. "Are you sure this isn't too much trouble?" Ethan looks down and flips through the photos on his camera. "Not at all. You look good no matter how I photograph you," he says gently. When my turn comes, I clutch the hem of my skirt and walk over. Ethan casually presses the shutter twice. "Done." I stare at him. "That's it?" He frowns at me. "You never look good in pictures anyway. Don't hold everyone else up." I look at the two photos on his camera. My eyes are closed in one, and half my face is hidden in the tree's shadow in the other. I ask him to take a few more, but instead, he puts up a post on the campus forum. "Photographer wanted. 20 dollars to snap a few graduation photos of my girlfriend." Half an hour later, I receive a private message from an unfamiliar profile. I send over my location, then say quietly, "Just so you know, I'm not photogenic." The reply comes almost immediately. "Your photographer didn't know how to work with you." After the shoot, he sends me the unedited photos. I'm stunned when I see the photos. I never knew I could look this good on camera. Even crazier, the photographer who took the job for 20 dollars seems to know what he's doing better than the president of the photography club. Chapter 1 The photographer sent over several more unedited shots. None had been retouched or filtered. They were simply photos of me from different angles. I was simply standing there, but there was a light in my eyes that I barely recognized. "You have great features. You just tense up whenever you look into the camera," he said. Whenever Ethan photographed me, he'd ask the same question. "Could you at least try to smile naturally?" After only a few shots, he'd lose patience and lower the camera. "Forget it." Then he'd frown and complain, "Why are you always so awkward in front of a camera?" He repeated it so often that eventually, I believed him. The moment someone raised a camera, I'd duck my head or turn away, already certain I'd look terrible. My phone buzzed. My roommate had forwarded me Chloe's social media post. It featured a nine-photo grid of graduation pictures, all taken by Ethan. Chloe stood beneath a tree, the breeze catching her hair perfectly. "Graduation photos by the photography club president. I'm so lucky." People had commented below the post. "These could go straight into an admissions brochure." "Chloe looks like the lead in a college romance." Chloe replied with a bashful emoji. "He's amazing at making people feel comfortable in front of the camera. When I couldn't smile, he kept joking around until I laughed." As I zoomed in on each photo, my eyes began to sting. It wasn't that Ethan didn't know how to guide someone or help them relax. He had simply never made that effort for me. Just then, a notification from the college's official social media account appeared. "Admissions Ambassador Casting Call Submit a headshot and a one-minute video introducing the campus. The selected student will be featured in next year's admissions video." I swiped it away without a second thought. Anything that put me in front of a camera had never felt meant for me. After all, Ethan had told me countless times that I wasn't photogenic. The photographer messaged me soon afterward. "Did you see the casting call?" I hesitated before replying, "Yeah." "You should apply." My thumb froze above the screen. "I don't think I'm right for it." His response came almost immediately. "Trust me. No one would be a better fit." A few seconds later, another message appeared. "They're not looking for the prettiest person. They're looking for someone who can make people picture themselves here." I stared at the messages for a long time. Then he sent me a nine-day production plan that gave us three days to get me comfortable on camera, three days to film around campus, and three days to edit the footage into a one-minute video. I suddenly felt like crying. The truth was, I had always loved having my picture taken. But over the four years Ethan and I had been together, I had grown more and more afraid of the camera. The next day, Ethan spotted my application form the moment I walked into the photography club room. He frowned. "Nina, you actually applied?" I nodded. "Yeah." He reacted as if I had just told him a joke. "You're applying to be the admissions ambassador? Don't do this just to prove a point over those graduation photos." Chloe, who was sitting beside him, gave me a gentle smile. "There's nothing wrong with staying behind the scenes, Nina. Being the face of a campaign comes with a lot of pressure. "If you don't photograph well, people online can be cruel." In the past, that would've been enough to make me back down. This time, I simply put the application form away. "Whether I photograph well is for the college to decide. You don't get to eliminate me before they do." Ethan's expression hardened. "Why are you being so stubborn?" Just then, my phone lit up with a message from the photographer. "Meet me at the library's west entrance at 4:00 pm. We'll shoot our first set. You don't need to do anything special. You look best when you're just yourself." I looked down at the message and took a steadying breath. Then I looked up at Ethan. "I've already got a photographer." Chapter 2 Ethan's face tightened. "Without me, you'll never get a single decent photo," he said flatly. I ignored him. At exactly 4:00 pm that afternoon, I arrived at the library's west entrance. I used to help Ethan whenever he had a shoot. While he photographed Chloe, I carried his lenses, held the reflector, brought him water, and kept an eye on the bags. If the hem of Chloe's dress fell out of place, I would instinctively step over and fix it for her. After the shoot, Ethan would have me import the photos. But whenever he photographed me, he couldn't even be bothered to adjust his camera settings. That day was the first time I got to stand in front of the camera instead of helping from outside the frame. The photographer didn't start shooting right away. He had me stand beside the steps. "Relax your shoulders and forget the camera is there. Watch the wind move through the trees. Look at anything you want." I raised my head stiffly. He looked at me for a moment. "Nina, the camera isn't Ethan. It won't judge you." My nose stung as tears burned behind my eyes. I lifted my head and blinked rapidly. He didn't rush me. He simply waited in silence until I was ready. The first set took half an hour. He didn't say much, but his directions were always clear. "Don't clutch your skirt. Look at the tree on your left. Now turn back toward me. Yes, hold that look." For the first time, I realized that having my picture taken didn't have to be stressful. The next morning, Ethan tagged me in the photography club's group chat. "Help me hold the reflector this afternoon. Chloe has a shoot for her admissions ambassador entry." In the past, I would've agreed immediately. This time, I replied, "I have my own shoot this afternoon." The group chat went silent for several seconds. Almost immediately, Ethan sent me a private message. "You're actually putting that much faith in a photographer who charges 20 dollars? Chloe's shoot is a priority project for the photography club. Don't let this interfere with what actually matters." I stared at the words "what actually matters" and nearly laughed. So to Ethan, Chloe's shoot counted as important. My graduation photos, my application, and the courage I had found to give this a try didn't. That afternoon, I went to the science building to film my video. As I passed the athletic field, I saw Ethan photographing Chloe. She stood in the middle of the lawn, and the light was perfect. Ethan crouched on the ground, adjusting his angle again and again. "Take your time. Wait for the breeze, then turn your head. If you can't smile, look at me first. Good. One more time." Chloe smiled. "I'm not making this too difficult for you, am I?" "Not at all. You're a natural in front of the camera," Ethan said gently. I stood at the edge of the track as my fingers slowly curled inward. So he did know how to put someone at ease in front of the camera. He had simply never done it for me. The photographer noticed my expression but didn't ask about it. He merely raised the camera toward me. "We're shooting video today. Walk, look into the camera, and tell me why you like this college." I lowered my gaze. "I don't know what to say." "Then pretend you're talking to me." I thought about it for a long time before finally speaking to the camera. "Everyone here always seems to be moving forward. It makes me believe that even ordinary people can grow stronger as long as they keep going." The photographer let me finish without interrupting. When we were done, he turned the camera toward me and played back the footage. I wasn't as sweet or polished on camera as Chloe, but I was real. That evening, the applicants began sharing their photos and footage in the group chat. The photographer chose a shot of me at the library's side entrance. As soon as it went up, someone replied, "Is that Nina Wilde? This photo looks like it tells a whole story." Warmth slowly spread through my chest as I held my phone. Then Ethan sent a message. "It's one carefully staged photo. Good lighting and composition can make anyone look good. Admissions ambassadors are judged on more than that. You're not applying to be a model." Chloe quickly agreed. "Exactly. Video is a lot less forgiving than photos. Once you start moving, every unflattering angle and expression shows." My heart sank a little as I read their messages, but I didn't scramble to explain myself or prove anything the way I once would have. I replied with just one sentence. "I'll practice on my own." That night, the photographer sent me a new plan. "Tomorrow, we'll shoot by the graduation photo backdrop. Don't be nervous. Just be yourself." Chapter 3 I submitted my video on the day entries closed. The whole thing was only a minute long, but I'd watched it at least 50 times. It opened at the library's west entrance. I walked past the steps with an armful of books, then glanced back at the camera. The middle featured the athletic field, the science building, and the graduation photo backdrop. In the final shot, I stood at the campus entrance and said, "I hope that when you come here, you'll find yourself along the way too." My fingers were still trembling after the submission went through. The photographer messaged me. "You did great. Now you can relax and get some sleep." But I couldn't sleep. I'd always hidden behind other people whenever a camera was involved. This time, I'd put myself in front of it. Three days later, the preliminary results came out. The Office of Admissions posted the shortlisted entries on its official social media account. First Place: Nina Wilde Second Place: Chloe Lloyd I stared at the screen, too stunned to react. My roommate screamed and threw her arms around me. "Nina! You came in first! You actually came in first!" Before I even had time to celebrate, the photography club group chat blew up. "Nina came in first?" "And Chloe came in second?" "The video Ethan shot actually lost?" Ethan didn't say anything until someone tagged him. "What do you think, Ethan?" He finally replied, "The college will probably review the entry to make sure it's authentic." My heart sank. He didn't congratulate me or ask how I'd filmed it. His first reaction was to assume my entry wasn't real. Chloe messaged me privately soon afterward. "Nina, that was incredible. Your photographer must be really good, though. It's hard to believe an ordinary student could produce something like that for only 20 dollars." Someone quickly posted a screenshot of her messages in the group chat, and the conversation immediately turned against me. "Exactly. There's no way that kind of quality only cost 20 dollars." "Did she hire a commercial production team to produce the whole thing?" "What if it was heavily edited?" "Isn't an admissions ambassador supposed to be a real student?" "Maybe the photographer knows someone in the Office of Admissions." It wasn't long before posts questioning the results appeared on the campus forum too. "Admissions Ambassador Preliminary Results Disputed: Student Suspected of Hiring Commercial Production Team" "A Promo-Quality Video for 20 Dollars? Seriously?" The comments grew nastier by the minute. "Wasn't she known for looking terrible on camera?" "Now she's suddenly leading-lady material? Who's going to believe that?" "Guess she'll do anything for attention." The longer I stared at the comments, the colder my fingertips felt. Then a message from Ethan popped up. "Who exactly is that photographer? Did he hire a team to help you? Nina, this is an admissions ambassador competition, not a glamour shoot. Don't turn a college campaign into an excuse to show off." I stared at the screen for a long time before replying, "You think I cheated too?" He answered almost immediately, "You know how unphotogenic you've always been." His words cut deep. He couldn't believe I could look good on camera without something being faked. That afternoon, a staff member from the Office of Admissions called me. "Nina, please come to the Office of Communications. Someone has raised concerns that your video may have been produced by a commercial team, heavily edited, or given an unfair advantage through personal connections. "We need to review the original footage." I stood in the doorway of my dorm room, my mind completely blank. My phone buzzed with a message from the photographer. "Take a breath. You're going to be okay. I didn't make you look like someone else. I just filmed you properly." I held on to those words until I could feel my fingers again. A second later, another message from Ethan appeared. "I'll go with you. I know how you used to look on camera." Chapter 4 I headed toward the Office of Communications with my phone clenched in my hand. It kept buzzing the entire way. The posts on the campus forum were still blowing up. "She's actually going in to explain herself?" "Wait, does that mean something really was wrong with her entry?" "An admissions ambassador is supposed to represent the college. If her whole image was staged, how can she represent anyone?" "Do you think there's something going on between her and that photographer?" I stopped short. Being called unphotogenic was one thing. This was vile. They weren't questioning my entry anymore. They were attacking my character. Representatives from the Office of Admissions and the Office of Communications were waiting for me, along with the head of Student Affairs. Printed screenshots of the forum posts lay on the table beside stills from my entry video. Ms. Carter from the Office of Communications addressed me in a serious tone. "Nina, a student has come forward and accused you of having a commercial production team produce your entry. "There are also claims that you received the photographer's help through an inappropriate arrangement. An admissions ambassador represents the college, so we have to look into any questions about integrity." My throat tightened at the word integrity. I handed over my phone. "I didn't hire a team, and nothing was heavily edited. Ethan found the photographer through a post he made on the campus forum. The job paid 20 dollars." Ms. Carter went through the messages and the payment screenshot, but the concern never fully left her face. "Your older photos online look very different from these. We're going to need an explanation." Just then, Ethan knocked on the door and stepped inside. Ms. Carter turned to him. "Ethan, you're the president of the photography club. You've seen Nina in front of a camera before, haven't you?" I looked at him, still holding on to one foolish shred of hope. He knew he was the one who had posted the job on the forum. He also knew those awful graduation photos existed because he had snapped them without putting any effort into them. Ethan was silent for several seconds. "She looks fine." I had just started to relax when he continued, "But she used to tense up in front of the camera. I'm not saying she faked anything. I'm just saying the finished product doesn't look like something you'd get for 20 dollars." The office went quiet. He hadn't accused me outright, but he had just given them even more reason to doubt me. I stared at him. "You know perfectly well that you posted that job. You were the one who said I wasn't photogenic and told someone to just snap a few pictures of me. "But the second someone else takes good pictures of me, you assume they must be fake. You don't doubt the photographer. You just can't stand that I look better in someone else's pictures than I ever did in yours." Ethan froze. There was a stir at the door. Chloe stood in the doorway, her eyes red. I hadn't even noticed her arrive. "Ms. Carter, may I say something?" She spoke softly. "I'm not accusing Nina of anything. I just know she used to hate being in front of the camera. What if someone took advantage of how badly she wanted to prove herself and presented her as someone she's not…" She didn't finish, but everyone knew exactly what she meant. I stood there, my hands and feet turning cold. Ms. Carter sighed. "Nina, your place on the shortlist will be put on hold until we complete our review. Please submit the unedited photos, behind-the-scenes footage, and the photographer's identification details." When I left the office, several students had gathered in the hallway. Someone whispered, "If they've put her spot on hold, there must be something wrong, right?" "It's a college promo, not a glamour shoot. She didn't have to go that far." I had just reached the stairs when Mom called. "Nina, why did the college call me? It's just a competition entry. Don't let this affect your graduation." "Mom, I didn't fake anything," I said quietly. There was a brief silence on the other end. Then I heard Dad's voice. "If you didn't fake anything, why is the college investigating you?" By the time I hung up, my fingertips were ice-cold. Ethan caught up with me. "Your best option now is to blame the photographer. Tell them you didn't know he'd hired a whole crew. The college might go easier on you that way." I looked at him and gave a disbelieving laugh. "Now you're worried the college might give me a hard time? You're the one who hired this photographer for 20 dollars." Ethan went still. Just then, my phone buzzed. It was a message from the photographer. "I'm downstairs from the Office of Communications. Don't be afraid, Nina. I'll clear this up."