I Want Nothing To Do With You

After dating Julian Vance for six years, the woman he truly loved finally came to find me. "So, you're the kept woman Julian's been hiding?" Her eyes were red, and tears streamed down her face. Julian wiped the corner of her eye with his thumb, whispering softly to comfort her. "Don't cry. She and I were just having some fun. How could she ever compare to you?" "Alright, alright. I'll make her leave right now." He finally spared me a glance. "You've been with me for so many years. I won't mistreat you. Is there anything else you want?" I actually stopped to think about it. When I first started following him, I wanted him to pull me out of the swamp I was drowning in. When I thought he loved me, I wanted a future with him. But now, having realized my place, I only wanted to leave. So, I shook my head. "Nothing." I didn't want anything from him. As long as we never crossed paths again. 1 "Nothing?" Julian asked me back. His eyes were narrow and long. When he didn't smile, he always looked cold and heartless. I had only packed a tiny suitcase. I didn't take any of the designer jewelry or expensive gifts he had given me over the years. Julian let out a mocking scoff, a half-smile playing on his lips. "Sera, be smart. Don't try to play the high-and-mighty card now." "Or are you playing hard to get? Trying to make me beg you to stay?" I remained quiet from beginning to end. His eyes darkened with impatience. "I don't play these testing games." "And don't look at me like someone bullied you." "I told you a long time ago not to dump your useless feelings and expectations on me..." "I'm not," I interrupted him. I picked up my suitcase and walked toward the door, speaking as sincerely as I could. "I really don't want anything. And I really don't want you to keep me." Two "reallys." Julian froze for a split second. Then, he suddenly laughed, scanning me up and down. "Oh? You don't want anything?" His tone was casual, almost playful, like a cat teasing a mouse. "Did you forget? Even the clothes you've been wearing these past few years were custom-made by private tailors." "Take them off, then." I only hesitated for a second before setting my suitcase aside, intending to go to the bedroom to change. Julian grabbed my wrist, looking down at me. "Strip right here." There were several other people who had come with him. Their eyes fell on me, waiting for the show. The air froze. I lowered my eyes and calmly began to undo the buttons of my shirt. One. Two. Three. By the third button, Julian suddenly flung my hand away, his eyes completely icy. "I'm not so cheap that I'd beg for a piece of clothing back." "Sera, take your things." "Get out." "Don't ever come crawling back to beg me. You won't even get through the front door." Luxury cars roared to life one by one and sped away. The villa fell back into dead silence. I still took off the expensive clothes. I changed into the plain white T-shirt and jeans I had worn when I first moved here. I had never thrown them away. I was only twenty-one back then. I had a bare, makeup-free face, looking a lot like Chloe, the girl Julian loved now. At that time, Julian had pinched my cheek. "What are you wearing? People will think I'm starving you." Since then, everything I wore and used was the absolute best. And I had once foolishly believed that this was Julian's version of love. I stopped thinking about the past. I folded the priceless outfit and left it on the side. I left exactly the way I came. The walk out of the private gated community was long, and it took forever to get an Uber. Without Julian's orders, no one would cater to my convenience anymore. But no matter how pathetic I looked, I never once thought about turning back to beg. 2 In the back of the cab, I opened Instagram and saw Julian's new post. In the photo, Chloe was leaning against him. He was holding her hand, his head bowed to kiss the back of her palm. He looked so cherishing. His friends commented below. "I thought she was just a placeholder like Sera. Are you for real this time?" "Looks like that psychic was wrong. You don't look like you have a rocky love life at all." "Where's Sera? Did you dump her? Does that mean I can slide into her DMs now?" Julian replied to that one. "Go ahead." "No need to 'slide in.' Just throw a little money her way, and she'll probably follow you. She's easy." In his words, I was defined by just two concepts: easy and cheap. As I blocked and deleted their contacts, the driver in front sighed. "Whoa, what rich kid is pulling off a stunt like that?" We were passing by the marina. Over a thousand drones were lighting up the night sky. They spelled out: Chloe, be mine. I leaned my head against the car window, watching the lights blur, and thought: So, this is how Julian acts when he actually loves someone. He proposes. He makes grand public gestures. He can't wait to tell the whole world. Unlike when I had asked him to post a single photo of us on Snapchat. He had only chuckled, patted my neck like a pet, and never brought it up again. When I first met Julian... I had a gambling addict for a father and a terminally ill mother. I was being cornered by loan sharks and didn't even dare to go to college. Julian saved me. He was like a knight in shining armor from some fairytale. He paid for my tuition so I could study without worries, and he stayed by my side when I finally had to bury my mother. After my mother passed away, I fell terribly ill. Whenever I woke up crying from nightmares, Julian would be by my bedside, patting my back. "It's okay. Go back to sleep." For at least three years, we lived like a deeply in love couple. When I was twenty-four, Julian had his assistant deliver a diamond ring to me—one I had just admired in a magazine. My heart hammered in my chest. The ring slid onto my ring finger. It was a perfect fit. I hugged him from behind, but Julian frowned and pulled my hands off him. "Why do you have that ring?" I didn't understand. He called his assistant and gestured for me to take it off. He said the assistant had made a mistake. The ring was meant for his family's corporate-merger fiancée. My hand hung frozen in the air. My voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper. "Are you marrying someone else?" "Then... what about me?" Julian suddenly let out a soft laugh, his eyes filled with casual amusement as he asked me back: "You didn't actually think this ring was for you, did you?" "Sera, we don't have that kind of relationship." I stood there, trying to grab his hand. My words came out clumsy and broken. "What do you mean we don't have that kind of relationship?" "Am I not your girlfriend?" "Don't you love me, Julian?" The room became suffocatingly quiet. Julian sighed, looking annoyed by the drama. "Sera, you're crossing the line." "I thought you understood. When I said we were together, I meant it literally." "I take care of you, and you satisfy my needs." "If you have any delusions about a relationship or marriage, drop them now." I never got to hold his hand that day. That was the day I finally saw my true reflection in his eyes. I told Julian I was leaving. "I won't be a mistress." But within a week... The new job I had just found vanished. The business of a close friend of mine suddenly ran into massive trouble. Even my landlord texted me to move out immediately. I walked downstairs. Julian was leaning against his sports car, his eyes as dark as the night. He said, "Sera, I helped you, gave you so much. Did you really think I was running a charity?" "I'm not done playing with you yet. You don't get to decide when this ends." But perhaps fearing I would misunderstand again, Julian stopped staying with me every day. People would constantly send me photos of him cozying up to other women. But I had learned my lesson. I did what I was supposed to do. I no longer sent him photos of beautiful clouds or cute dogs on the street like I used to when I thought I was his girlfriend. I stopped texting him to ask where he was during his business dinners or begging him to come home early. I stopped taking his past promise of "if you get pregnant, we'll keep it" seriously, and numbly swallowed birth control pills instead. Once, when he caught me throwing up from the side effects of the pills, he saw the package in my hand. He paused, then said with an unreadable tone, "Well, you're certainly being obedient now." During that time, I was constantly dizzy and lost weight rapidly. One day, looking in the mirror, I felt like I was nothing but a bag of bones. Julian leaned against the doorframe, watching me. I didn't know how long he had been standing there. "The merger fell through. The engagement is off," he said, then turned and left. I didn't know when or why he had canceled the engagement. But ultimately, it had nothing to do with me. 3 We lived like this for another three years. By then, I was twenty-seven. Two months ago, Julian said he had met a girl. He suddenly asked me how to pursue someone. My fingers curled slightly. I thought about it, then opened my mouth. "I guess... you should first find out what kind of person she is, and what she likes." "Then take it slow. Care for her, make her happy." He took my advice. He had me help him choose flowers that girls would like. When I picked them out, he would also buy a massive bouquet for me, calling it a "thank-you gift." He took me to several high-end restaurants, asking for my opinion on which one she would prefer. When a new blockbuster movie came out, he took me to watch it first, saying he was afraid he wouldn't know what to talk about in front of his crush. The light from the cinema screen flickered across his face. I watched him with utter boredom, thinking: Love is truly great. Even someone as arrogant as Julian Vance can become clumsy and hesitant because of love. On the drive back, I looked at the city lights outside the window and suddenly spoke up. "You must be done playing by now, right?" "Once you guys are officially together, can I finally leave?" The light turned red. Julian rolled down the window, resting his arm on the frame as he lit a cigarette. The glass reflected the glowing red cherry. A gust of wind blew past, looking as if the night had been burned through. He smiled. "Of course." Coming back to the present, I let out a breath of relief. Between Julian and me, there wasn't even a breakup. It was just an expiration date. Still, I couldn't completely escape news of him and Chloe. After all, the tabloids loved billionaire gossip. And they were very high-profile—firework shows one day, yacht parties the next. Meanwhile, I was crouching on the curb, eating cheap tacos from a food truck. I checked my phone during a break and realized I had five missed calls from the same unknown number. The next second, the phone rang again. "Hello?" Julian's mocking voice came through. "Sera, blocking me and changing your number? You're pretty good at burning bridges." He sounded completely unbothered. "Someone sent me a photo of you eating on the street." "What, it's only been a week since you left me, and you're already living like a beggar?" My legs were getting numb from crouching. I only asked, "Is there something you need?" There was a silence on the other end for a few seconds. "Chloe accidentally broke your hand-painted ceramic figurines." "She didn't do it on purpose." I froze for a moment before retrieving the memory of those two little clay dolls representing him and me from the dusty corners of my mind. I had dragged him to a pottery class to make them. He had complained about how childish it was, yet he had carefully painted a pair of angel wings on my doll's back. I used to love them so much. I had placed them right where I could see them every day. "Oh, it's fine." After all, so many things had broken long before those dolls did. "Please just throw them away." "I already did." In the silence, I heard the sound of his lighter flipping open and closed. Open and closed. "By the way, about the private island I gave you for your birthday... you need to sign the transfer papers." "Chloe wants it." The island was a gift for my twenty-third birthday. We had stood on the beach, and I watched the wind mess up his hair, making his handsome features look even sharper. Julian had held me from behind as we watched the sunset. He had whispered in my ear, "Happy birthday, Sera." Time had flown by. Julian was still the same Julian. But I was no longer the girl who had stood on that beach, crying tears of pure happiness. "Tell me what compensation you want. You can ask for anything." I shook my head before realizing he couldn't see me. "No need." "I'll sign the papers as soon as possible." "Goodbye." I hung up. 4 I didn't waste any energy thinking about that phone call. There were plenty of other things in life to worry about. Through a friend's recommendation, I landed a job as a sales associate at a luxury boutique. Having spent nearly six years around Julian, I actually knew quite a lot about high fashion. But as fate would have it, bad luck always found me. I looked up to see Chloe entering the store, her arm looped through Julian's. The wealthy crowd trailing behind them noticed me immediately, their faces twisting into amused grins. "Oh, look who it is! Sera Miller? Talk about falling from grace. You're actually working retail now?" "Julian, she was your favorite for a while. How can you bear to watch this?" In their eyes, there was a time when Julian treated me like his absolute prized possession. Once, a difficult client Julian was trying to sign had tried to force me to drink. Julian had flipped the table and poured the whiskey directly over the man's head. "I'm here. What are you afraid of?" he had told me. "If anyone bullies you, bully them right back." But now, Julian just stood there, hands tucked casually into his pockets. He looked entirely indifferent as his thin lips parted. "What does her life have to do with me?" Seeing that Julian had no intention of standing up for me, one of the guys mockingly stuck his foot out. "I got some dust on my loafers on the way in. Wipe it off." "And do a good job, or I'm filing a complaint." The laughter grew louder. "Hey, do mine next!" My fingernails dug into my palms before I slowly let go. I bowed my head. "I'm sorry, but my job description does not include shoe-shining." Chloe looked at me with a sweet, pitying smile. "Sera, these shoes aren't my size. Run to the back and find my size. That is your job, right?" Ignoring their stares, I bowed slightly. "Of course, ma'am." I brought the shoes out and placed them in front of Chloe. She leaned her head against Julian's shoulder, sighing that she was too tired, and demanded that I put them on her. I knelt on one knee on the floor and began to slip the shoe onto her foot. She didn't like them. I had to go back to the stockroom to grab another pair, repeating the process of standing up, walking, and kneeling back down. By the twelfth pair, she looked up at Julian. "Are you even paying attention? You haven't said if they look good." "What's wrong? Are you hurting because I'm making your ex-lover put shoes on me?" Julian looked at her like she was a spoiled child he couldn't help but indulge. "Why would I care? It's just her job." He explained to Chloe, using the exact same words I had heard him say a hundred times before. He told her that our past was nothing, that he had only kept me around to kill time and cure his loneliness. I carefully zipped up Chloe's new boot, acting as if they weren't talking about me at all. "How do these feel, Miss Bennett?" Chloe hummed, then suddenly waved her hand in front of my face. The diamond ring on her ring finger was breathtaking. It was from the exact same luxury brand as the one I had mistakenly put on years ago. "Actually, Julian already proposed to me." "You can call me Mrs. Vance soon." Chloe rested her chin on her hand, her eyes drilling into me, trying to catch any sign of heartbreak. She asked out of nowhere: "Did Julian ever give you a ring?" I only froze for a split second, amused by how threatened Chloe seemed by me. She really overestimated my place in his life. "No, he never did." "Rings aren't something to be given away lightly. Mr. Vance would naturally only give one to you." "It's beautiful. It suits you perfectly." I paused, then added, "Actually, this ring goes perfectly with the boots you're trying on. Would you like to take a look in the mirror?" It was like punching a cloud of cotton. The mocking glints in the surrounding eyes faded into disappointment. Julian gave me an unreadable look, a cold sneer escaping his throat. "Wrap everything up," he told another sales associate standing nearby. "The commission goes to you." "Some people are so desperate to please, it's making me sick." I didn't say a word. I just kept my head down, packing the shoes back into their boxes. But I had been kneeling for too long. When I stood up, my vision went completely black. As I fell forward, a strong arm shot out, catching me firmly by the waist. Julian looked at me, a smug smile forming on his lips. "Sera, if you want to throw yourself into my arms, you don't have to be this obvious." I stumbled back two steps. Julian wanted to say something else, but his voice was fading. The last thing I saw before blacking out completely was his cold, arrogant face cracking with panic. When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. Julian was leaning against the wall, his expression unreadable. The doctor walked in, frowning as he flipped through my chart. His tone was accusatory. "She's three months pregnant. Didn't you two know?" Julian snapped his head toward me.